fail your exams because yolo
Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I’ve ever known. - Chuck Palaniuk
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itiswhatitis
itiswhatitis
| I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now. |
| When chemists die, they barium. |
| Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. |
| I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. |
| I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. |
| This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. |
| I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. |
| I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. |
| They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O. |
| We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. |
| Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? |
| Broken pencils are pointless. |
| I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. |
| What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. |
| I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. |
| All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on. |
| I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. |
| Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes. |
| A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy. |
| The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault. |
| Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too. |
It would be really cool to live on a little island where everyone knows each other
Hello burbank. Haha
